Sometimes Even a Blind Pig Will Find Global Warming

By November 30, 2008Global Warming

John J. Miller reacting to a story about the dearth of acorns here in the D.C. area:

Today’s Wash Post has a story on acorns—or rather the lack of them. Apparently oaks in the region aren’t producing very many this year:

The idea seemed too crazy to Rod Simmons, a measured, careful field botanist. Naturalists in Arlington County couldn’t find any acorns. None. No hickory nuts, either. Then he went out to look for himself. He came up with nothing. Nothing crunched underfoot. Nothing hit him on the head. …

“I’m used to seeing so many acorns around and out in the field, it’s something I just didn’t believe,” he said. “But this is not just not a good year for oaks. It’s a zero year. There’s zero production. I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

Sort of interesting, but not a matter of grave concern unless you’re squirrel. Oaks live a long time. They can deal with a low-acorn year. But this is a newspaper story about an environmental quirk. And so…

Wait for it…

Wait for it…

Yes! Paragraph #11:

You have to wonder, is it global warming?

Funny thing is, last year was the acorn crop was incredible, putting a crunchy covering on top of sidewalks throughout the city. Remarkable, truly, the heaviest crop we’d seen in 10-plus years in the city. You have to wonder, was it global warming?

And the answer in both case is, of course it’s global warming. Everything’s caused by global warming.

UPDATE (5:15 p.m.): More acorn reports from John’s readers. They’re abundant, even bumperish, in Missouri and South Carolina.

Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Oh yes! Here in SC, we are promoting them to a new export crop. We call it clean acorn technology!

    Kendall Gordan, SE

  • Erick says:

    I have never seen so many accorns in my 20 yrs. on the Ms.gulf coast! Accorns are piling up in my back yard! My brother in-law says that it’s the same way in Alabama. It is common knowledge that the yield of fruit and nut trees is sporadic from year to year.
    We’ve got a record year!
    Erick Molander
    Ocean Springs, Ms.

Leave a Reply