Report from Airstrip One: Fight Global Warming!

By October 1, 2008Global Warming

Meat? Sweets? Liquor? No, no, and no.

Those luxuries contribute to global warming, and only government mandates can lead us to the more austere lifestyles that will save the planet.

So argues a new report from the Food Climate Research Network based at the University of Surrey in England. From The Guardian, “Meat must be rationed to four portions a week, says report on climate change“:

Tara Garnett, the report’s author, warned that campaigns encouraging people to change their habits voluntarily were doomed to fail and urged the government to use caps on greenhouse gas emissions and carbon pricing to ensure changes were made. “Food is important to us in a great many cultural and symbolic ways, and our food choices are affected by cost, time, habit and other influences,” the report says. “Study upon study has shown that awareness-raising campaigns alone are unlikely to work, particularly when it comes to more difficult changes.”

The Guardian notes that the report calls for reducing total food consumption, “especially ‘low nutritional value’ treats such as alcohol, sweets and chocolates.”

Makes us nostalgic.

One day a chocolate-ration was issued. There had been no such issue for weeks or months past. He remembered quite clearly that precious little morsel of chocolate. It was a two-ounce slab (they still talked about ounces in those days) between the three of them. It was obvious that it ought to be divided into three equal parts. Suddenly, as though he were listening to somebody else, Winston heard himself demanding in a loud booming voice that he should be given the whole piece. His mother told him not to be greedy. There was a long, nagging argument that went round and round, with shouts, whines, tears, remonstrances, bargainings. His tiny sister, clinging to her mother with both hands, exactly like a baby monkey, sat looking over her shoulder at him with large, mournful eyes. In the end his mother broke off three-quarters of the chocolate and gave it to Winston, giving the other quarter to his sister. The little girl took hold of it and looked at it dully, perhaps not knowing what it was. Winston stood watching her for a moment. Then with a sudden swift spring he had snatched the piece of chocolate out of his sister’s hand and was fleeing for the door.

Those were the days.  

UPDATE (noon): Cereal synchronicity at Lileks (third paragraph). Pure coincidence.

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