At the Chicago Auto Show: Iowahawk

By February 8, 2008General

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Iowahawk, a blogger widely respected feared for his pointed satires, was also at the Chicago Auto Show courtesy of the Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers — and sincere thanks to AAM for the invite — and he knows enough about cars to crack both wise and smart about the show and the vehicles on display.

After getting my official press kit, I looked around to find the cavernous hall swarming with serious photographers and scribblers with official-looking notepads. With so much event coverage taking place, I was faced with two dilemmas: (1) how could I bring readers unique insight and reportage, and (2) how could I steal stuff with all these reporters nosing around? Then it dawned on me — sure, there are hundreds of websites and magazines out there who can bring you detailed up-to-the-minute Auto Show news with high-quality photography, but how many offer actual crappy low-rez pics from a $29 cell phone? I also quickly realized that stealing stuff kind of goes with the whole professional media lifestyle.

Good fun, and lots of cool photos.

P.S. Iowahawk also noted the prevalence of overamped, heavy bass music.

What’s that intoxicating beat? The pulsating techno draws us hither to the urban global youth downtown hipster section of the show. Careful research by industry marketing experts shows that most car consumers of the future will be experimental snowboarding graffiti performance artists and Scando-Asian ecoblogging hiphop DJs. This emerging segment of Point Break Renaissance Dudes demand rakish carbon-neutral econoboxes, powered by the internet, with plenty of room for DJ gear and cruelty-free hemp skullcaps. The industry has responded with entire marques like Mini and Scion, individually customizable to give you that hip now street cred! Case in point: these rat rod tattoo inspired black primer transpo-pods.

But see, that’s the genius of the auto industry, creating vehicles that fill EVERY consumer’s particular automotive needs. If sometimes too loudly.

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