As Long as They Don’t Whistle Dixie

By February 13, 2008Taxation

James Lileks on the Patriot Employers Act, from his daily online column, “The Bleat.”

After 9/11 the people entrusted with establishing nomenclature for new programs fashioned custom-fitted sleeves of tin for their ears, and thus we had the Patriot Act and the “Department of Homeland Security.” The first was needlessly jingotastic, and the second had no cultural resonance; we’ve never referred to America as the Homeland. It’s a bad term for a nation founded not on soil and race but on a concept. Well, the idiocy has spread. Now we have the Patriot Corporation Act, which will officially designate certain companies as Patriotic if they follow certain rules, and accord special privileges.

If dissent is the highest form of patriotism, then companies that don’t conform to the bill’s stndards will be so damn patriotic they will bleed red white and blue and tootle “Yankee Doodle” on a fife that pops out of their butt every time the CEO passes wind.

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