Live Earth: Now This Explains the Slow Ticket Sales

The Sueddeutschezeitung in Munich reports that “Live Earth” Hamburg kicks off with Shakira, the Colombian singer, in the early afternoon followed by a bunch of big-name performers: Chris Cornell, Enrique Iglesias, Snoop Dogg, Jan Delay, Mia, Roger Cicero, Reamonn, Michael Mittermeier, Silbermond and Juli. (We’ll accept that they’re all big names.) Finally, then, the late addition, Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens), will close the evening at around 11 p.m. But there’s more!

In addition, 60 short films and 30 public service announcements will be shown during the breaks between bands. At about 8 p.m. Al Gore himself will be switched in from New York to ask the audience to sign a seven-point-declaration to pressure governments to ratify climate treaties.

Ach, mensch. Sixty films, 30 PSAs, high-minded Germans earnestly lecturing and lecturing and lecturing? Preachy imploring for a seven-point action plan on behalf of protocols of codicils of declarations?

No wonder they’re giving away tickets.

P.S. Here’s the full Hamburg lineup. What? Guns N’ Roses isn’t showing up? They’ve never let us down before.

UPDATE (9:20 a.m.): Private jets for climate change!

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