Ever wonder why your career lags behind while the person in the next cubicle’s soars? Why is it they always get chosen for the plum assignments while you get stuck doing your TPS reports week after week? The answer is sad, but simple: You don’t speak the lingo.
Ever notice how they’re always right there sprinkling their water fountain conversations with the boss with phrases like “compatible reciprocal software” or “responsive digital programming”? Don’t you wish you could talk like that?
Well now you can. Thanks to two very handy Internet tools, the Gobbledy-Gook Generator and the LoserNet Systematic Buzz Phrase Projector (LSBPP), you can now learn the lingo and watch your career take off. The Gobbledy-Gook Generator will give you entire sentences like, “My organization believes in optional incremental matrix approaches.” Wow. The LSBPP only gives you phrases like “total management contingencies”, so it’s up to you to construct the sentence. However, they do provide a recommended sentence that contains the handy phrase.
In any event, the testimonials are just phenomenal. In fact even Bill — oh, wait, never mind, we can’t use his last name, but let’s just say he’s way famous and he was a big fat loser until he started using these on-line tools.
So check it out and start your move to the corner office. And — see you at The Club.
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