MLB: Shocked, Shocked To Find Steroid Use!

By March 31, 2006General

In the classic film, “Casablanca“, Claude Rains as Capt. Renault, standing in his own casino, utters the famous line, “I’m shocked! Shocked! To find that there’s gambling going on in here!” Less well-known except to fans of that film is what follows: the croupier approaches him with a bunch of money, hands it to him saying, “Your winnings, sir.” Major League Baseball’s latest reaction to the steroid scandal reminded us of that scene.

First there was the “25 strikes-and-you-might-be-out” policy — and this time we really mean it! Then there was the “three strikes and your kinda out” policy. Now, in light of a new damning book alleging widespread steroid use in major league baseball, Lightnin’ Bud Selig has taken the bold step of appointing Former Sen. George Mitchell (D-ME) — a member of the Boston Red Sox Board of Directors and a member of the Board of Directors of Disney, who owns ESPN (a MLB “partner”, according to its site) — to get to the bottom of this, yessirree.

Now we think George Mitchell is probably a fine guy and all, but the problem here is the molasses-like speed with which they moved, and then only after they were totally embarrassed by this book. When they moved, they did so with an insider from the world of baseball, rather than with a clean-as-a-whistle outsider with no vested interest. No matter, had the book never been written, MLB would still be whistling past the steroid graveyard. Better a lousy start than none at all, we ‘spose.

And so we applaud MLB — although the sound you hear is the sound of only one hand clapping — for finally being embarrassed into getting to the bottom of this burgeoning scandal. With the help of steroids, the mouse in the room became the elephant in the room. Maybe George Mitchell can get to the bottom of it. For Bud Selig, all we can say is, “Your winnings, sir….”